She had a vision of talent…
…she didn’t bank on that vision being Kara DioGuardi instead of her. LMAO!!!
I didn’t watch the final American Idol so of course, when I heard about this little showdown I zipped over to Youtube and found it. How freakin’ hilarious!!! You know, it’s one thing to be deluded about one’s abilities, it’s another thing to wrap it up in sex and try to sell it. She just couldn’t sell it, not even in a bikini.
I tell ya, when you set yourself up like that…you kinda deserve what’cha get. Not only was she out-sung, she was out-classed, out-sassed and out-bikinied as well! Go KARA!!
This is the best! Kara doesn’t even pretend that this isn’t about making Bikini Kill feel retarded, and Bikini Kill is so dumb she’s like, “I don’t even know how stupid this makes me!” Mostly I just love it, because I was on Kara’s side — “Next time just show up naked” is precisely when I fell in love with her, if you remember — but A) how fun for all of them to be in on it, and B ) um, how hot was Kara DioGuardi already? I forgot how Riot Grrl obsessed I was with her twenty weeks ago, when everything she said was brilliant and funny, and I relegated her to the smarter version of Randy/Paula, but damn. She’s so Third Wave she’s like already laying out on the beach wearing a bikini and being all, “Whatever, I got SPF 5K.”
It’s so nice when your role models actually put the pedal to the metal instead of talking the talk: “Yeah, I called you a wh@re that lived off your t!ts. And then guess what, you got new t!ts. But I can still sing better than you, which we all know is the nominal point, and I’m a gifted writer, and I’m hotter than you. In about sixty ways. So when I said you were living off your body because you’re too lazy to live off anything else, I wasn’t talking shit: I could take off this dress and make some f@cking dime on it. I choose not to, because I am an artist. I’ve been there, I’ve made the choice. I’m lucky to have figured out before I was dead that there was a choice.”
“When I say you need something better, that’s not me being fat or ugly or any other thing where I’m less awesome than you: I’m saying I could take the easy road, and chose not to. And you can’t hear it, because you think womanhood is a war you’re automatically drafted into. But if you could hear it, what I’m saying is that you have a million different ways of proving yourself, and instead you take the one way that guarantees you’ll never get anywhere at all. It’s a he!! of a lot easier to point the finger if I’m not hotter than you, because you can say I’m being defensive, but guess what: that was never what it was about. It’s possible to live outside the economy of women hating women. And I’m telling you: every woman that ever tried to stop you, they weren’t being mean, they were trying to save your life.”
And she’s like the only person with the credentials, and the basic Bikini Kill recipe, and the body, to make that point at this moment: she could easily be Bikini Kill, and that’s all she was ever trying to say. Try harder. Be Better. And that’s why I loved Kara six months ago, and that’s why I love her now. “Next time just come naked” isn’t an insult, it’s an option. And there are way better f@cking options.
You don’t have to be ugly to be smart, and you don’t have to be smart to be ugly: life is actually much better than that. You can do everything, and still be in charge of your sh!t, because you are automatically good at more than one thing. We as people are so stuck on living in the house of our best accomplishment that we’re scared to be more complex than that, or go to the scarier places. But that’s a system invented by other people to keep us small. Taking it down to just one thing — pretty, smart, funny, cool — is selling yourself short, because you’re bigger than that: You Are Your Territory. You own what you earn, and you earn what you own.
Exactly. *wink* And seriously, did she really NOT see this coming? Even just a little bit?
