Because it is quietly urban in the middle of the city.
Because it smells “fresh” every time I walk in.
Because people in there actually parent their kids (i.e. no screaming house-apes running amuck).
Because of the free samples (and they’re not shy about giving seconds or thirds!) and the free coffee!
Because I can find unique items there that no one else carries.
Because of their cute mini-carts.
Because even though 2 Buck Chuck is now 3 Buck Chuck, it’s still awesome…and now, they offer a Shiraz!
Because it’s not a super giant place – it’s cozy.
Because in that place, everyone is smiling…all the time.
Because today, one of the staff saw me put my hand to my forehead while I scrunched up my eyebrow and she came over and asked me, “Headache or itch?” When I got past my confusion long enough to say, “Oh, headache.” She said, “Wait right here…I’ll get you a couple of Advil and a cup of water.” And SHE DID! I almost cried. :)
These are 10 reasons why Trader Joe’s is my favorite grocery store. Ever.
Remember the rules? No lookie at the linkie until you’ve reached the end. ;)
Because…
1. It might make me think…but what it makes me think is “boy…I bet they’re cold”.
2. Also, I can’t help thinking about words like “crevices” and “paint” and “lodged” and “for days”.
3. I can’t tell if it’s four guys and two girls or five guys and one girl…and really, what’s the point if someone like me is hung up on something that stupid.
4. ”Performance Art” should not be code for “get (mostly) nekkid”.
5. Butt cheeks should not be used to portray facial cheeks.
6. Because of the disturbing grin on the guy with the mustache (why is he the only guy with his hands behind him? wait…I really don’t want to know).
7. That might be Patrick Wilson standing on the left side of mustache guy. Dude…so not a good career move if it is.
8. Because I’m afraid this is real art and I’m the only one who doesn’t quite “get it”.
9. Because it’s a bit over-the-top even for hardcore Obama-ites.
10. Because the creepy factor is overriding the cool factor by a margin of 1,348,132 to 1.
1. the smell.
2. the screaming children running riot all over the place.
3. the fact that they single handedly wiped out the local mom & pop shops.
4. the crappy products all “Made in China”
5. the smell.
6. the parking lot that is always littered with McDonald’s wrappers and dirty diapers.
7. did I mention the smell?
8. the rude employees.
9. it freakin’ REAKS in there!
10. that fact that whatever it is I think I need, they never have it. It is the biggest store filled with nothing I ever needed and everything I never wanted.
10 reasons why I hate Walmart.
And now, a Deep thought by Jack Handy: ““The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.”
they think they’re better than everyone else – everywhere (they remember what it was like to be worshipped…they crave to be worshipped still).
they hold grudges – forEVER!
they observe people seemingly with “no-emotion” (<<<not my observation, but a good one nonetheless! TY J!) and that’s just creepy!
they appear in manymanymany Stephen King novels and never in a good light.
they’re sneaky.
they are postmortem predators – *shudder* (when they watch you sleep, it’s not because they adore you, they’re checking to see if you’re still breathing).
they hate traditional baths and yet always seem to be clean…hmmmm…
they don’t fetch.
they actually prefer the taste of their butts to the food we provide for them (ungrateful brats).
they never miss an opportunity to “love us” by threading themselves around and through our legs as we try to walk across the bloody room!
